I was writing a sermon this past weekend for a preaching engagement I had when I realized that something was very, very wrong.
I realized that my heart is broken. I didn't realize this at first because I was about getting things done and moving forward and helping other people deal (or not deal) with their pain. I was moving onward and upward in the midst of a landmine I did not even realize I was standing in the middle of.
And then it happened, I used a scripture in my sermon that was one of her favorites, and it all came crumbling down. I miss her. I miss the way that we used to pray together and believe for the impossible to happen. I miss sitting across the table from her and hearing about how much she loved the Lord and the things that He had done in her life.
I'm gonna be honest here...she was not always easy to love. There were times when it was next to impossible to be with her because things were not always good...but there was a space between us that was always just understood. She knew my heart, partly because she helped shape it. She taught me what it was to pray and believe that God was able to do what you were asking for. She taught me the beauty and importance in praying for your spouse. She taught me what it is to be a woman of the word, and I am more thankful that I can even begin to say that I learned that from her.
But I can't help but think that she would have loved this part of my life. She would have loved that I am preaching the Word of God. She would have reminded me that this is in my blood and it is part of my heritage. Sharing God with people is part of who I am.
I wanted so much to call her when I preached on Sunday. To tell her everything that was in my heart. But as I looked at my phone, I was reminded of how empty it can be to be the one who is left here and even more than that I am reminded how homesick my heart is.
Monday
Mercy Me - Homesick (Live)
Help me Lord, cause I don't understand your ways. The reason why, I wonder if I'll ever know. Even if you show me, the hurt would be the same, 'cause I'm still here...so far away from home.
Friday
3-day Walk For The Cure
Okey Dokey, here we go. I signed up today for the Susan G. Komen 3-day walk-a-thon in Dallas, which will take place November 5-7. I was a little concerned at first because it is 60 miles, but I am already feeling so much love & support from my closest peeps, that I don't think I have anything to worry about!
My team of supporters first must include my bestie, LaDonna. This chica is awesome. She is going with me to Dallas for the "Get Started" Meeting. This meeting is meant to get you jazzed about the walk and the fundraising. So excited for her to come with me.
Secondly is my walking partner, Lissa. Lissa's first (all-be-it unsolicited) piece of advice came this morning. "Just don't wear flip-flops, Mom." Thanks, babe. Got it.
Future people will be listed as the need arises...
I am super excited about training for the walk. I think it will be great for me and the kids are looking forward to missing a day of school in November to come to Dallas and cheer me on!
I have lots more to say about why I am doing this, but for now I'll leave you with this...
If you'd like to sponsor me, you can go to the following link www.the3day.org and click on the link on the right side of the page that says to donate to a participant and then type in my name SHANNON ECKLEY. Your donation will go straight to my goal of $2500!
My team of supporters first must include my bestie, LaDonna. This chica is awesome. She is going with me to Dallas for the "Get Started" Meeting. This meeting is meant to get you jazzed about the walk and the fundraising. So excited for her to come with me.
Secondly is my walking partner, Lissa. Lissa's first (all-be-it unsolicited) piece of advice came this morning. "Just don't wear flip-flops, Mom." Thanks, babe. Got it.
Future people will be listed as the need arises...
I am super excited about training for the walk. I think it will be great for me and the kids are looking forward to missing a day of school in November to come to Dallas and cheer me on!
I have lots more to say about why I am doing this, but for now I'll leave you with this...
If you'd like to sponsor me, you can go to the following link www.the3day.org and click on the link on the right side of the page that says to donate to a participant and then type in my name SHANNON ECKLEY. Your donation will go straight to my goal of $2500!
Tuesday
Jesus bring the rain.
1 Kings 18:41-45
And Elijah said to Ahab, Go up, eat and drink, for there is the sound of abundance of rain. So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he bowed himself down upon the earth and put his face between his knees And said to his servant, Go up now, look toward the sea. And he went up and looked and said, There is nothing. Elijah said, Go again seven times. And at the seventh time the servant said, A cloud as small as a man's hand is arising out of the sea. And Elijah said, Go up, say to Ahab, Hitch your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you. In a little while, the heavens were black with wind-swept clouds, and there was a great rain.
Over and over again in the past few days I have felt the sense of rain in my spirit. I felt it when I prayed for a friend and when I prayed for my husband and when I was in chaplain class on Monday. Rain. Coming down from the Heavens like a rushing wind. Rain that would saturate the ground and allow new things to grow. Rain that would bring a freshness that would wash away pain and sorrow and make all things new. But like many other things in life, the blessing of the Lord never come the way that you think it will. Once in a while it looks a little more like life being turned upside down. As I pray and believe for others to be blessed, for God's presence to be made plain in their lives...I feel the overwhelming presence of God in my own life and I know that He is working on their behalf~~but when they don't see it right away I feel a little like Elijah, telling others to go and look and believe because I can hear the sound of the abundance of rain. But when they go and look and see nothing, I feel compelled to cry out, "Go and look again because I know it is coming!" All I know is that I know who HE is. I know what He has done for me.
I know that He is more than able to overcome any situation we might be in. I know that He saved the day & my life and if He will do it for me, then He will do it for them, too. and so I say, Jesus bring the rain. Lose your umbrella, it's time to get wet.
And Elijah said to Ahab, Go up, eat and drink, for there is the sound of abundance of rain. So Ahab went up to eat and to drink. And Elijah went up to the top of Carmel; and he bowed himself down upon the earth and put his face between his knees And said to his servant, Go up now, look toward the sea. And he went up and looked and said, There is nothing. Elijah said, Go again seven times. And at the seventh time the servant said, A cloud as small as a man's hand is arising out of the sea. And Elijah said, Go up, say to Ahab, Hitch your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you. In a little while, the heavens were black with wind-swept clouds, and there was a great rain.
Over and over again in the past few days I have felt the sense of rain in my spirit. I felt it when I prayed for a friend and when I prayed for my husband and when I was in chaplain class on Monday. Rain. Coming down from the Heavens like a rushing wind. Rain that would saturate the ground and allow new things to grow. Rain that would bring a freshness that would wash away pain and sorrow and make all things new. But like many other things in life, the blessing of the Lord never come the way that you think it will. Once in a while it looks a little more like life being turned upside down. As I pray and believe for others to be blessed, for God's presence to be made plain in their lives...I feel the overwhelming presence of God in my own life and I know that He is working on their behalf~~but when they don't see it right away I feel a little like Elijah, telling others to go and look and believe because I can hear the sound of the abundance of rain. But when they go and look and see nothing, I feel compelled to cry out, "Go and look again because I know it is coming!" All I know is that I know who HE is. I know what He has done for me.
I know that He is more than able to overcome any situation we might be in. I know that He saved the day & my life and if He will do it for me, then He will do it for them, too. and so I say, Jesus bring the rain. Lose your umbrella, it's time to get wet.
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