Thursday

A year in Pictures

So...my blogging has left a little to be desired this year, but to redeem myself I have put together a little gift for you. Pics of our year. Enjoy.

~~we started the year at papa mike's & celebrated grandma cindy's birthday. we even made her a cake!~~

~~sisters playing in the snow~~

~~in march we took a trip to topeka & got to hang out with our cousins~~

~~ADOPTION DAY!!!~~

~~mike worked on my car & did a great job~~

~~all the kids got baptized this year~~

~~also got to see God's awesome beauty at the baptism~~

~~we did a little hiking~~

~~we came to grips with our love of old navy manequins~~

~~we went to an REO Speedwagon concert~~

~~rye is still in love with trees~~

~~our christmas tree this year~~

~~we got bunnies this year~~

~~more bunny pics~~

~~lissa had her birthday party at the bowling alley~~

~~we discovered our deep love for build-a-bear~~

~~morgan is now 65 pounds~~

~~and mike broke his finger~~

~~brent giving his "employee of the year" speech

~~brent's award~~

Friday

learning to lead out

This past week at my CPE class I got to lead our chapel time. As I was putting together what I was going to talk about I realized that I was going to be standing in a place that so many people in my family before me have stood. I was going to get to be the one sharing the love of Jesus. Sharing how I see the cross from my perspective.

As I began to think about what I could share, I was reminded of the way that Christ loves us. How extravagantly he has shown his heart for us, so that is the where I went with it. I talked about the woman who anointed Jesus' feet with oil and tears. How extravagant she was about her love for him and how we can be the same. I thought that I would share a part of that with you...

She was an extravagant worshipper of Jesus.

According to Merriam-Webster the word Extravagant has the following meaning:
1)Exceeding the limits of reason or necessity
2)Lacking in moderation or restraint
3)Extremely or excessively elaborate
4)Spending more than necessary

By all accounts this woman was extravagant. She showed up somewhere she wasn’t invited just to be with Jesus. Extreme, absolutely. Lacking in restraint, for sure. From the moment that she found herself standing behind Jesus she began to weep. Excessive, perhaps. And that alabaster jar, filled with perfume that was worth a year’s wages. Absolutely spending more than necessary.

I am sure that we have all heard that story a number of times. And we can have a tendency to get familiar. That familiarity can lend itself to taking something that was meant to touch our hearts and making it something completely different. When I hear this story I am immediately drawn to verse 44 where Jesus is talking to Simon about the woman; while he is talking to Simon, he turned toward the woman… He was talking to Simon but with every breath he was affirming her act of love. He was affirming her acts of extravagance. He was looking into her eyes when he says, “They didn’t, but you did…” Oh to be that woman--

I believe we can be like her. I believe that we can see the extravagant way that Jesus loved us and we can see the way he taught us, the way he died to forgive us and out of the abundance of our hearts we can love him extravagantly in return. We can show up and we can show people what is to love Jesus. We can show people the love of Jesus~ even when that love may not make sense or it may seem foolish or it may be extreme and make us feel embarrassed. We can love Jesus and like that woman we can say, I know. I know what is to live without you and I know I don’t ever want to go back there again. This morning, however, we have a choice. We can choose to have enough of Jesus to just make it to heaven, or we can choose to be like this woman. We can lay everything that we have at the feet of Jesus to have the opportunity to look in his eyes and hear him say YES! That’s how I meant for you to live. Passionately abandoned and not the opinions of anyone else.

Wednesday

What I love.

I have been thinking long and hard about what I love the last week or so. I think that it is soooo important to consciously think about what it is that we love and take stock once in a while.

So, I thought I'd take a minute to write down a few of the things that I love.

I love moonlit hottubbing with my husband.
I love making big breakfasts for my family and anyone else who might be coming by.
I love walking my dog in the morning when not a lot of other people are around.
I love the smell of Texas Pecan coffee brewing in my kitchen.
I love the smell of fabric softener.
I love fall in Texas.
I love walks on the beach and going to the lake.
I love going to Galveston Island and looking out over the water and knowing that God knew how I would feel about that place, and He had me in mind when He made it.
I love that my kids love to bless me...and that even when they have been especially selfish they always manage to pull something out that shows me that I AM a good mother.
I love going to sleep every night knowing that the person I love most in the world is lying next to me~ and I love the way that every night I know his feet will find mine under the covers.
I love the friends that I have and the place that each one fills in my life.
I love the smell of a book store and the crisp feel of pages in a brand new book.
I love pens and paper and the vast possibilities that they hold when put together.
I love my dad. I love that he is a good man and that I can be proud to be his daughter.
I love REO speedwagon, and I love that my dad and I and my kids and I share that.
I love IHOP at 11:00 at night.
I love that I am married to someone who has incredible vision for the future and that everything he has vision for has me written all over it.
I love rainbows and everything that God meant for them to stand for.
I love that prayer is so powerful and that God longs to answer every prayer that I throw his way.
I love that I am not who I was.
I love that my husband leaves his socks laying around, and that my daughter takes my shoes and that my other daughter always takes my favorite pen and that my son cannot ever remember to put his bowl in the dishwasher and that my bonus daughter calls me whenever she needs someone to gripe to, and that my dog takes my shoes and that my other dog will not stay out of my bed because all of these things, that might on the surface appear to be frustrations, are the very things that remind me that I am blessed with a house full of people/dogs that love me~ and people/dogs that want to be loved by me.

It is true that I may not be able to find my shoes or my pen and I may be caught morning after morning picking up things that I did not leave out of place...but more than that I am incredibly aware of God's heart for me because of the people that He has put in my life. I am aware that I am needed and loved and trusted, and that is very good!

Monday

Dreaming.


So. When Brent and I got married we lived in a house that was ours. Well, actually it belonged to the bank...but you know what I mean. In 2003 we sold the house that we loved due to a set of circumstances that just put us in a hard place.

It ended up being a good thing because it brought us to Texas, but after 5 years of being renters it has really reminded us of how much we loved owning our own home. We have done so much talking and looking at houses, with no real fruit coming from it. I had no idea how far this dreaming was going to take us~

One night we were at dinner and I took a piece of paper out of my purse and a pen and we started brain storming all of the things that we want in a house. Our lists differ a little, but by and large they are the same. We want to be in a certain part of town, we want to keep the kids in their school district. I want a library for my books, and he wants a circle driveway. I want 2 fireplaces, and a window seat where I can sit and read my books. I want an amazing view out my office window where I can look when I need inspiration for something to write about. Brent wants vaulted ceilings, hardwood floors and a 3 car garage~ with lots of space for him to work on projects. He also wants a place to build a tree house for the kids.

The more that we thought, the more our ideas started to shift. Instead of looking at houses we started looking at pieces of land and house plans. In the natural I cannot see how any of this works out, but that is the awesome part. I believe in a super-natural God...so maybe I don't have to understand how it all works. So far we have found a piece of land next to a quaint little lake that is smack in the middle of town...right where we want to live. It has the coolest street name (which was one of the things that I wanted on my list). AND to top it all off, the other day when Brent was online looking at houses and I was sitting at the desk going through a floor plan book~ he showed me a house that he wanted...and it just so happened to be the exact same house I had marked in the book I was looking at! Now we know what we want... I can't wait to see what God has to say about it!!

Sunday

What I Want..

A little while back I was asked to speak at a breakfast. I was nervous about what I would say, and my best friend was going to be there, so that old "fear of man" issue set in. But as I prayed through what it was I wanted to say, this scripture came to mind~

John 1:37~ “When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around Jesus saw them following & asked them ‘What do you want’?”

All sorts of thoughts went running through my head when I meditated on this verse. First of all it is extraordinarily clear to me that Jesus did not have to turn around to know that they were there. He also did not have to ask them what they wanted to know exactly what they wanted.

It got me to thinking, when we come to Him, Jesus doesn’t have to turn around to know that we showed up. We each come to Him for a very different reason, for our own purposes, for our own needs. Each of us got our own invitations from the Lord, and we choose to respond. Just like he asked them that day, I think that he is asking us that same question: What do you want? Why are you following me? He knows, he has always known. But he so badly wants us to have that conversation with him.

As I was reading over this scripture I started mulling over what it is that I want from Jesus and my relationship with Him. This is the short list I came up with.

I want to have patience~ abundant, overflowing patience. For every one in my life, for every situation.

I want to be able to love others well, the way that Jesus does. The way He loves me. Seeing beyond faults and mistakes. Seeing beyond people’s idiosyncrasies that I don’t understand. I want to just be able to love their soul and their spirit from the start.

I want to be able to forgive people without needing an apology. I want to be able to say I forgive well because I am acquainted with what I am forgiven of. I may be far removed from that situation but I am intimately acquainted with every mistake that I have ever made and I am forgiven of every single one, but I remember, and because I remember the forgiveness I am able to give it.

And lastly, I want to be able to see the people in my life….with an eternal perspective. The way that Jesus sees them. Not just to hear they are hurting, and respond out of this is what is best for NOW, or this will fix it right now. But to be able to see them with an eternal perspective so that I can approach them on that level. That I can see them the way that Jesus sees them. That I am not just concerned with their right now, but I am concerned about their forever. I want that . I want that for myself and I want that for those around me.

So, if Jesus were to be standing in front of you right now, asking what you want from Him, what would you say??

Tuesday

It's all in how you remember

If you know or if you don't...we are knee deep in the process of hubby adopting my (our) son. There are so many parts of this that are hard, and the whole thing has just reopened wounds that have long since been covered with band aids that were not the right size.

Tonight as my son and I were laying on my bed talking, I brought up the subject of the adoption. He has gone up for prayer twice in the last month at church, and so I figured that it was time for him and I to talk about it. As I thought, there was a lot of things riding under the surface. At the beginning of the process he appeared to be taking it all really well...but now there are thoughts~ so many thoughts that he has. And I have many of my own.

But tonight we were able to go to a place that was really raw with each other. He told me that he missed his biological father. (OUCH) I thought for a moment before speaking and told him that I figured it was "the idea" of said biological father that he misses~ not the actual person because they have not seen each other in 14 years. Mike has no memory of him...for that I am thankful. As we spoke longer he agreed that he does not remember...that what he thinks about is what I told him~and that got me to thinking.

So I told Mike that it is hard for me because I do remember~ I remember that day when it happened. I remember holding him in my arms when he died, and looking through the emergency room window as they were working on him...wondering if they would be able to save him. I remember him being in a coma for 6 days and the nurse telling me that if he did not open his eyes that day, that the next day I would have to make decisions about signing papers to have his life support turned off. I remember those things...he does not. His memory of this is that of a story that he heard, like it happened to someone else. And that is how he thinks about it...in the distance.

But it is not distant to me. When I think about it too long, I can see him that day when I walked in the house. I can feel the weight of him in my arms as I drove him to the hospital. I feel almost haunted by the sounds of the death rattle. More than anything I want to forgive my ex-husband. More than that I want to forgive myself for leaving him at the house that day. I want my mom to forgive me for asking her to babysit him while I went to the Dr's office.

I just want to be forgiven. I want to forgive because I know that Christ forgave me first. But every June 1st it comes back. A reminder of how the door to my childhood and innocence was slammed shut behind me like the iron doors of a prison. The saddest part of that is that I know the door is open...but I just can't seem to find my way out...

But my son...my son is not angry, he does not feel like his insides have been ripped out. He just knows that he is loved, by his Dad, the dad who held him when he was sick. The dad who taught him how to ride a bike and tie his shoes, and climb trees and fish and hunt and drive the car into the driveway! The dad who has been there every day, day in and day out. Loving him the best way that he knows how.

It really is all in how you remember... and as I write this tonight, I am doing my best to remember that The same God that saved my son and breathed life back into his body that day in the hospital is the same God who wants to give me back everything I've lost.

For Mariah





To my sweet princess


I know that sometimes when you look at yourself you see faults.
You see things that you have done wrong.
You see the places where you have failed.
The times that you got off on to a bumpy road.

But I want you to know what I see when I look at you.
I see the beauty of the King.
I see the handiwork of the creator of the universe .
I see unlimited possibilities
With unrivaled passion for life and all that it holds.
I see a zeal for nature
And all that is naturally good and pure.
I see a light that began as a small flicker
But has grown into a flame of unimaginable power and worth.

You see, my dear, when I look at you I see not only
The young woman that I love so dearly,
I see the daughter of the King.
I see one who holds the secrets of the universe inside of her.
I see one who has been called from the ancient of days
To do things that she has only yet to imagine.

My sweet, when you look in the mirror
I pray that you will see who I see,
Who God sees…

A sweet princess just beginning to come into her own.

You are joy unspeakable in my life.
You are treasure that my heart cannot contain.
You are a gift for which there could be no adequate price tag.

I know that you hear the Father calling to you.
You hear Him in the trees of the field and the
Animals of the earth.

Open your ears, my princess.
Hear all that He has to say.
And then run.
Run with wild abandon
And be all that He created you to be.

Friday

Friends!

I love it when people come to visit! It is so fun!! And I am usually in massive need of a nap when they go home! This week we had some friends and their kids come to stay with us. They also have 6 people in their family~ so doing the math that would tell you that we had 12 people in the house all week...and amazingly enough no one died, there were no major arguements...and much fun was had by all.

There was some hot-tubbing, smores, trips to the zoo and the Dr. Pepper museum. Even a trip out to the location of the Branch Davidian compound!

Now they've gone home and time has come to do some laundry and get the house back to normal!! :)







Sunday

For my husband


So, every once in a while something strikes me and I am reminded of how much I really do love my husband.

Today as I was doing the dishes, I threw in a cd laying on the counter. It was a Garth Brooks cd. On that cd is the song Lonesome Dove. This song always reminds me of Brent, and the way he stepped in in my life during a time when things were not so good~ and some how seemed to be the weight that brought my life into balance. He used to tell me that he did not want to be my hero. He did not want to be the white knight who came riding in to make everything better. Well~ truth be told there was no way that any person could have made my life better. It was totally going to take Jesus. But the awesome thing about Jesus is that HE uses people~ average, everyday people~ to do extra-ordinary things in the lives of others.

So the lyrics go like this~

She was a girl on a wagon train
Headed west across the plains
The train got lost in a summer storm
They couldn't move west and they couldn't go home
Then she saw him ridin' through the rain
He took charge of the wagons and he saved the train
And she looked down and her heart was gone
The train went west but she stayed on
In Lonesome Dove


So, obviously I was never part of a wagon train...but you get the idea. And every now and then, when things are as they should be...and my mind is cleared of all the garbage of the world, I think about the day that I met my husband. I think of the way that he came in to my life. I think of how it felt like even though my world was still spinning around in circles, once I took his hand...we could stand in the middle of all of that and it seemed to somehow start to slow down. Things were starting to make sense. Like being with the man who God had intended for me to be with might just make life make a little more sense.

Like maybe God had made a man just for me, and maybe HE had made me just for someone specific~ and when we came together as one~ maybe all of my dreams really could come true.

So, Brent...today I want to tell you that I love you. That I am for you. Not just today, but every day. That your presence in my life blesses me, always. That you still make me make sense. I want you to know that I still grateful for the day when I saw you riding through the rain, even more grateful for the moment that I realized you had my heart, I don't ever want it back. I love you. I love you for all of your quirks, and for all of mine that you seem to adore. You are my knight~even though you didn't have to be.

Wednesday

What do you do when...

Your daughter's best friend starts complaining the minute she gets to your house to spend the night and does not stop???

Your son says an inappropriate word at an inconvenient moment~ but the context in which he uses it makes you giggle???

It rains so much that your fave poochers make you sneeze???

You are so tired that all you want to do is sleep all day???

Your husband tries to convince you that getting in the hot tub in a rain storm is a good idea???

The house needs to be cleaned but you would rather do almost anything but clean it???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My only answer for any of this...

get out my favorite book, crawl into bed...snuggle up into the covers and arrange all of the pillows for maximum comfort and read said favorite book until all of the rest of these things cease to be a concern!

Sodom and Gomorrah

SO...Melissa has decided to read through the whole Bible. She is fascinated by the fact that I have read the whole thing and so she is on a mission to get through it herself. She is to chapter 19 in Genesis so far. As she was reading this morning, I heard her say "Oh that's just nasty!" I could not wait to hear what it was that she thought was nasty...and I did not have to wait long.

She came scurrying across the room and flopped her Bible down on my desk. Serious as can be she read me the following verse~

Gen. 19:5 {They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."} When she finished reading that she turned to me with a disgusted look on her face and she said, "I had no idea that the Bible was so nasty!"

After a little giggle on my part I explained to her that there are lots of nasty things that happened in Bible times...we talked about it for a while and as she walked back to the chair to read some more she said, "Well, I can't even imagine what else I am going to find in here!!"

I can't wait for her to discover what I have known all along...no matter how many books you read in your lifetime, the Bible is the very best one EVER!!

Saturday

Lovin' Lazy Saturday Mornings.

OK~ maybe lazy is not the word to use for what I am about to describe. I love to make breakfast. "Big Breakfast" as I lovingly refer to it. This may include a number of misc. items, but the usual suspects are ~ eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy, hash browns w/cheese, & french toast. Sometimes we throw in something else, or modify a little bit...but typically speaking when ever you hear me refer to a "big" breakfast...that is what I am speaking about.

So, two weeks ago we had a couple over with their two kids and I made this breakfast, and in doing so, I realized just how much I really do love to share this particular meal with people. Not just because I love to make it all, but because it is such a fun time to spend with people. Breakfast is all about being relaxed. You don't have to get dressed up to have breakfast with someone. You don't have to put on make-up or have your hair done just right because let's face it...it's breakfast!

To keep this theme of breakfast loving going on, we had another couple over this morning. It was so much fun. I spent an hour or so in the kitchen preparing the meal before they got here, and once they arrived we all ate and the kids played. It was fun! I love breaking bread with people. Sharing my passion for the 1st meal of the day, and getting to spend some time with the most important people in our lives!

With that, I must decide who to invite next!! :)

Tuesday

100 Random Things

I got These 100 random things from Christine's blog. The items in BOLD are things I have done. Just cut and paste to play. Just random...

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris. (The hotel in Vegas!! lol )
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked. (Tried to when I was about 5...but got scared at the end of my block and ran home crying!!)
23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice. (No~ but I did ride in a gondola at the Venetian hotel in Vegas.)
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.
38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served in a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book. (working on it!!)
81. Been to the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem. (working on this, too!)
84. Had your picture in the paper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had Chicken pox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Wednesday

New Beginnings in Perfect Places

Today began a new chapter in our lives~ I (Shannon) started working at the hospital as a volunteer in the chaplain services department. My official title is associate chaplain. I have to say that never in my life have I felt so perfectly suited for what I am doing. As I walked up and down the halls "shadowing" one of the other chaplains today I was clearly aware that in life there are so many times that you miss out on things because of fear or just plain old dis-obedience, yet after a life time of stumbles and mis-steps, some how I was still able to find this place. This perfect place for me. One so uniquely fit to the person that I am. Perhaps uniquely fit to the person that I was created to be. To be able to devote my life praying for people and just showing up for people...it does not get any better than that. Not for me anyway.

It is like all that time that I spent wondering is coming to a close, and an incredible new arena has just been opened up for me to play in! Somehow, I feel like there is no way to fail~ if I just love Jesus and love others the best way that I know how...keep taking the next step in what my Father has laid out before me...this time it just might turn out right!

Monday

Trip to see my Daddy!!

We just had the most fabulous time in New Mexico visiting my dad! Hope you enjoy the pics..

rye and her sock monkeys!


me & my dad


papa's breakfast of champions!! COOKIES!


papa and the grandkids


SISTERS! Madison and Mariah


Brent and Dad



Brent and Mikey


Building Forts


Dad giving some pointers...


Rye~ breaking off a chunk of her fort trying to get a huge snowball to throw at Mikey.


Papa & Lissa in a serious game of darts.
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